Parents! Please Do This, Your Kids Need You! | The Mister Brown Show Podcast

Welcome to this episode of The Mister Brown Show! Real talk, real life, real choices. Parents, this episode is for YOU! As a parent and someone who works with kids and teenagers, my message today is: “Please talk to your kids! They need you!” 

My message today is this, please talk to your kids! They need you. A quote that I use frequently is, 

“Loud voices are not always right, but silent voices can’t be heard.”

I think we see this a lot in the political world, however it applies to your kids as well! Oftentimes, especially in politics, I think we need less accusations, and more conversations. 

Back to you as parents. This quote applies to you because your kids are hearing all of the really LOUD voices of society and our culture.  Here is a quick story.  Last year, I was speaking at an assembly when a student asked me what I thought about pronouns. I told them I would love to chat more later, but at the end of the day, whatever the topic (abortion, transgender, etc…), that these are more than topics, they are people. And it is okay to disagree, but we need to respect each other.  I spoke to the student again later, and unfortunately it was a situation where they were already set on their opinion and were very angry with me about it.  The student later trashed me on social media for being transphobic and all these other things. It was cool to see other students stand up and say “that's actually not what he said,” but it was difficult nonetheless. The bottom line is that I am afraid that the silent voices are not heard because we fear offending a certain group of people or being criticized because our opinion is not “mainstream.” I later spoke to the administrator at this school about coming back in the future and she said that would be great, but asked me to avoid subjects like sexuality, transgender, and gender. I replied, “Okay. I want to do whatever best serves your school. So if a student asks, I will say that the school asked me not to talk about that.” She told me the reason was because parents in that community do not talk to their kids about those topics, so when they come up they get angry about it.  

My thing is, we have to talk to our kids about these topics as parents! Our kids are hearing about it anyway, and all-of-the-time! They are hearing the really loud voices.  So if we wait to talk to them, by the time we do they will have already made up their mind based on the voices they have been hearing.  Parents, I plead with you to talk to your kids about the tough stuff. It can be REALLY hard sometimes, but I want my kids to talk to me about these things! 

One of the best remedies for talking to your kids about the tough stuff is to talk to them about nothing! When you talk to them about what you think is ‘nothing’ or ‘boring,’ they will be willing to listen to you when it comes to the tough stuff because you built that relationship.  

The ostrich method has proven not to work. We cannot bury our heads in the sand and avoid the issue.  Your kids want to hear from you! They may not admit it to you, but they do! I was working at a school once with a group of eighth grade student leaders as the school was implementing their sex education program.  I stopped and asked them who they want to teach the about sex, teachers or parents. I asked, “how many of you want your parents to teach you about sex?” EVERY SINGLE KID raised their hand. Every single one! They would rather hear it from their parents, but the parents don’t do it. 

Here is the deal. Where there is a void in life, people will fill it. We will go find our answers somewhere. When your kids feel like they are missing some answers, they will go find some answers. It is simply a matter of where they get their information from. 

The key to talking to your kids about the tough stuff, is to talk to them about ‘nothing,’ all the time. And listening! Try going into their world and letting them teach you about their video game, sports plays, social media dance trends, or whatever it is they like.  We bought our kids a game for the Wii and one day my wife and I sat down to have them teach us all about it.  Are we going to play the game, probably not, but we were going into their world! We were building relationships and credibility by doing the things they like to do.  

There are so many loud topics floating around in the world. Whether it is abortion, LGBTQ+, civil rights, drugs, etc…, the loud voices are the only ones that are being heard.  Silent voices cannot be heard. So parents, please talk to your kids about the hard issues. I know it is hard, but it is beneficial long term.

For us growing up, our “Big 3” were sex, drugs, and alcohol. Those were the 3 things that our parents told us not to do, but struggled to talk to us about. So many of us learned about those things outside the home. 

The “Big 3” has changed. Today, it is substance misuse, sex, and social media. Those are the big 3 things affecting youth today. So many of our kids are looking for their value in social media. They are willing to destroy their reputations, damage property, and commit other crimes in order to fit in or follow a new trend on social media. That is too much influence. 

I tell this story a lot. I once had a student tell me she felt like she didn't matter. I asked her what would make her feel like she mattered, and she said if she had more followers on Instagram. We all need what I call AAA, or Triple A. We all need Affirmation, Acceptance, and Approval. We all need it! But our kids should not be getting it from social media. It is so flawed. Sometimes only 3 people may like their picture because the algorithm only lets 3 people see it.  It is flawed. 

When trying to talk to our kids about the tough stuff, sometimes asking questions is better than nagging them. Asking a question, letting them think, and walking away to let them really dwell on it allows them to come to their own conclusions. Asking questions helps them think through it themselves.  Sometimes we nag so much that they reject it simply because of the nagging, not because of the point. We are setting them up for their future if we can help them practice thinking things through.  It all starts with a conversation. 

“Kids want to hear from you more than you believe and they need you more than they know.” 

Sometimes they need you more than you know too. It goes both ways. 

My goal is to empower you as parents because you have such an important role in life! Being a parent is one of the hardest, but most rewarding things in life! So I encourage you to start having more conversations with your kids. 

I would love to know your thoughts on how you are connecting with your kids or what you thought of this podcast! Check out my website at: hellomisterbrown.com to let me know your thoughts! 

And remember, it all comes down to your choices. And when you make better choices, you will live a better life. So choose well! Oh yeah! 

Thanks for listening!